Welp...herpes.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Randomize
