I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
