That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
