Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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