I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
