Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
