I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
