We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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