You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
