So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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