hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize