well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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