i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize