Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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