I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
