last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
