So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize