We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
