she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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