He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he was CRYING into my vagina
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
