The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
