What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize