Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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