he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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