this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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