im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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