You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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