i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
