i just sent this text using only my big toe
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
