Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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