He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
