Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
