I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
