But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize