So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dignity is for republicans.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
