I just pynch a tree in the face
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
