I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
