Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
