Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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