also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
