I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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