I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
