you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
