our cab driver is having phone sex.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
