Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
