I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
that is very illegal...i love you.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
