Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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