apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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