it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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