That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
