you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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