Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Floor bacon is actually really good
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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