i would punch a child for taco bell
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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