Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
