Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
