Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
