yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
