super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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