You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
