This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
