Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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