they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
